felt better about herself, the years of self loathing and struggles during those adolescent years took a big toll on her mental health and self esteem. But we feel really happy and lucky that she is still alive today, happy and healthy, gradually healing from her wounds by spending time with the kids she now tutors math every day. This is the story of us as “loving parents” we thought we were, and our 23 year old transgender daughter’s life and struggles with her gender identity. From these experiences, we have learned the following lessons we would like to share with all of you: 1) Yes, all parents love their children, but they may not have the tools and emotional capacity to support their childrens’ gender explorations. We thought we were loving parents. But we made costly mistakes. We thought we would do anything for our kids, but when it came to gender identity, our ignorance about the issue at the time and our own fear and grief prevented us from truly being there for our child for the first couple of years after she came out to us. We later learned from support groups that parents were usually the last people that those kids dared come out to because the stake was simply too high for them. If our daughter could find somebody to talk to in school without being worried about parents being informed, it would have saved her years of utter isolation and shame. How we wish there were a policy like the existing 5756 that served to protect those sensitive and vulnerable souls like our daughter, when we parents could be frozen with fears of their futures and our own loss of an imagined child, which prevented us from providing adequate support they desperately need. LGBTQ kids need our schools to be a sanctuary for them so badly, because they are young and powerless, they spend a large amount of time in school, and teachers and counselors are usually the only adults they trust other than their parents. Since talking about gender issues with parents usually feels very scary and has a very high risk for them, they would have nowhere to turn if our schools shut the door on them. 2) Our daughter’s story is not an isolated case, but rather represents a common pattern. Many LGBTQ students and their parents are still suffering in total isolation. Since Grace came out, through her sister’s college friends, we got calls and messages from many parents struggling with the same issue: how to go through fear and grieving processes, and eventually reach true acceptance and fully be able to support our LGBTQ children. We also went through several support groups, talking and sharing with transgender kids and their parents who were in the same processes. We had volunteered with the Trevor Project as a suicide prevention counselor serving LGBTQ youth, answering heart breaking chats from many LGBTQ youths who suffered to the point of self-harm, or even thinking about ending their own lives. The fact is that numerous kids are still suffering. They need anybody, in any place, that they can trust, to talk to, and our school counselors would be a great first person for them if they could trust that the counselor would not be obligated to share it with their parents, which is the major point stated in our current school policy 5756. A listening ear in our schools can be the lifeline for those kids who would be otherwise suffering in total isolation, like how Grace spent her whole teenage years. Thinking of our daughter’s long painful years still brings tears to us. There are still many of those currently in and out of our community, judging from the calls and texts we got from Chinese parents we never met, and the chats we got from Trevor suicide prevention hotlines. 3) We understand that people may have fears about things they don’t understand. They may fear that when schools have protective policies for transgender kids, more kids may become transgender. And they want the schools to be safe for every student. We get that. But based on our experience and our understanding as parents of a transgender child and our experiences with tens of other LGBTQ youth, it doesn’t work that way. Our daughter tried to be “normal” so badly. They all do. They don’t want to follow anybody because inherently they know what a terribly hard path they have to walk through. They didn’t choose the path. They had no other ways to live. Our daughter didn’t get this “idea” from anybody, or any media outlet. If the society were not accepting enough, we guess we would find a lot more people committing suicide without clear reasons, or a lot of people going through life without truly being able to be engaged, or simply depressed and anxious throughout their lives. An LGBTQ person is just like any of us; We believe no matter how we fear the unknown, we need to go through it, examine it, and accept it as part of our humanity. And our schools can serve as the place where children find safety and comfort, where fear of the unknown is addressed instead of avoided. After we reached the light at the end of the tunnel, we have been building beautiful memories as a new family. We would love to show you our family photos if we get a chance to meet in person. With love shining as light in our lives, fear has no place to hide anymore. 4)Latest data shows that our LGBTQ population, especially transgender people, is still a very marginalized and vulnerable group. Quoting from GLAAD website: “Growing up is hard enough without being targeted, harassed, called names, or physically harmed — and LGBTQ youth are at extremely high risk of all of the above. 76% have experienced verbal harassment at school, and 50% didn’t report bullying because they didn’t think anyone would intervene”. According to a reseach paper published on NIH’s National Library of Medicine (Suicidality Among Transgender Youth: Elucidating the Role of Interpersonal Risk Factors), 82% of transgender individuals have considered suicide, and 40% have attempted one, with suicidality highest among transgender youth. Reading those shockingly high percentage numbers and imagining so many suffering children’s faces behind those numbers can break any parent’s heart. From Grace’s case, we know exactly how vulnerable and sensitive those kids are. If Policy 5756 is repealed, for some kids it could mean a door being thrown shut in their face, and keeping the policy could mean lighting a candle in darkness to lead their way. In extreme cases, it can literally mean life or death of a beloved child. How would we feel in our heart if God forbid one of our trans students did something to hurt themselves because of our vote today? To conclude this heart to heart sharing, we would like to emphasize that it’s our belief that our LGBTQ policy profoundly impacts us all. Although LGTBQ students are a minority, we never know if our children or their best friends are one of them — I never thought my daughter would be one until she told us. As Mahatma Gandhi is credited with saying, “The true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members.” The way we treat LGBTQ youth serves as both a reflection and determinant of our community’s moral fabric. And repealing policy 5756 would send a strong message against the very values our xxxxx community prides itself on. We strongly urge the Board to recognize the gravity of your decisions with the message it sends, and to actively engage with the narratives of our LGBTQ students and their families before casting your votes. Let’s send the message of love, and fear will have no place to hide. Thank you for your attention and we look forward to hearing from you! 来源：加美财经lg...
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